Back Trackin'

I just blew 30 minutes looking for my book. The upside is that during these 30 minutes I tied places in our house that otherwise would have been left in disarray. Naturally I found my novel I'd been lusting after all morning neatly tucked between two huge piles of paperwork that needs to be filed.

Lesson: No matter what your address, situation or who you live with - you are your thoughts. Clean them up and you will shine. Leave your thoughts to wander and you will quickly arrive in a dark dusty attic.

For now I am retiring to the couch for a five minute window of indulgent reading.

Ciao.

Getting a head start

Today was the first morning in years that I have been up before my children. I assumed, like many others, that parenthood would bring a natural bliss, sense of purpose and love. I know now that all of these things do accompany parenthood but not without intention and cultivation.

As Saturday approaches I am in awe that 6 years have gone by since Pat and I said I do. We didn't even know what marriage was really about let alone parenthood. We have made a lot of mistakes over the many days we've been married but somewhere along the way we managed to welcome two of the most special, loving and creative people into the world our little girls. Who at present are really not so little. At nearly 4 and now 2 our daughters hold their own.

It is a joy to spend my days with the girls, not without challenge but truly a blessing.

20 minute Muffins

This is my favorite muffin recipe. Each time I take them out of the oven I am shocked that the lumpy dough I plopped into the tray is now this gorgeous muffin. We've made this recipe with mixed berries, blueberries, apricots topped with strawberries, just raisins and banana & strawberries. Each time the muffins taste better than the last.

Enjoy!

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 egg

1/3 cup milk
1 cup fresh blueberries
1/2 cup white sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease muffin cups or line with muffin liners.
2. Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, salt and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture.
3. To Make Crumb Topping: Mix together 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with fork, and sprinkle over muffins before baking.
4. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until done.

Everything smells like skunk

I do mean everything in my house smells like skunk, except for the horrible burnt aroma of lavender which my husband waved around in the hopes that lavender + fire would remove the skunk-o-licous smell. No such luck folks.

It's 10:30 pm and finally my 2 kids, husband & stinky Labrador are asleep. Clearly our dog was the skunk surprise. I am trying everything possible to keep myself awake so that I can cook off the Cibatta that I made.

I made my Biga, pronounced Bee-ghA not Bigha like I was saying until my husband laughed and corrected me. God-dammit I thought in my head I took Italian for Christ's Sake. I am Catholic so I did say a Hail Mary after that one.

Anyhow it's take me 2 days and an hour longer than it should have but my Biga Cibatta bread is in the oven!

Best moment of today: sitting on the beach with the girls painting their nails, for Kirra this was her first time. We alternated purple & pink and made sure to keep our nails from sticking to anything, which is quite an accomplishment when you are 2 and almost 4.

Week 3 & 4

So much of my identity has been tied to work. Mostly my success or personal satisfaction was directly linked to the number of emails in my inbox. Everything else finished had been filed. My happiest days are when my inbox is below 25. When you stay home there is no such neatness or order to your day.

Laundry overflows the corners of every room. Dishes pile up without invitation. And nap time is as exhausting as leading a Parlipro meeting. My greatest challenge is finding a rhythm for the day and being content with not "achieving" anything great or visual other than the memory of a fantastic day.

Part of the trouble is we do in fact have too many things: books, clothes, toys, shoes, etc. And yes our physically living space is tiny.

All physical obstacles aside I am the one force that can create the life I wish to live and the motherhood I wish to give. So for this next week I am going to focus on doing everything with love, rather than obligation. How lucky am I that I "get" to be home which also means that I have the luxury of shuttling laundry during the day rather than on nights & weekends.

Fun highlights from the past two weeks:
- Our first dinner party with friends, Robyn & Sean come for pizza & wine tasting!
- Master the art of muffin making. A tea party with our "friends" and story time complete with If you give a Moose a Muffin.
- A return to sewing. Completion of my first skirt! I learn home to follow a patter, sew ruffles & finish with elastic. I love it so much, I made 3: Sofia, Kirra & I all have rufflious skirts. Also competed is a story telling skylight cover.
- Kirra's 2nd birthday party. 30 + friends & family came to celebrate the Independence of Kirra and enjoy homemade lamb & meat burgers, brioche buns, mango chipotle spread, potato & broccoli salads + made at home cupcakes.